Thursday, 25 July 2013

Thoughtful Thursday #1 | Money Woe's.

So behold, the start of my own little series.
"Thoughtful Thursday"
Of which each and *hopefully* every Thursday I will discuss something that has really been playing on my mind.

What a better place to start than money.

Some people, are very reserved with money, much like myself. We don't discuss our bank balances and keep our spending to ourselves.
Others - openly talk about their figures, whether it be big or small - and are incredibly vocal in how much they have.

My first approach has done me no good, so i'm going with the second.

I currently have -£1,204.38 in bank account.
You read right.
In fifty pounds time I am literally out of money.

Cus I know people are like; oh that's totally not a lot of debt.
Which no it isn't, but that's all the money I have.
I don't have anyone to rely on, that is literally as much money as I own.
When its gone, its gone.

Luckily its payday in a few and that'll get me through the month,
But do I want to be scrimping month to month?

I have a fear of cash machines.
I check my bank balance once every two months because I hate it so much.
I honestly have no idea what I am going to do.
I've started by selling my life on eBay.

So why is this such an issue all of a sudden?
And why, on this Thursday evening have I suddenly decided to speak out?
It's not all of a sudden, The stress keeps me awake at night.
My anxiety has been spiraling so out of control I just don't know what to do with myself.
I feel lost, alone and scared.
If my other half where to ever find out I think we'd argue to bad we'd break up.
His very, VERY good with money.
But nothing he does seems to help me.

My phone is broken, me thinking i'm clever, I have insurance.
With "Protect your bubble"
I call them up.
They tell me I will have to pay £180 to get my phone repaired.
I have to pay off the entirety of my insurance for the year AND THEN £50.00 access.
What. A. Joke.

I can't max out my overdraft any more.

I know what your thinking, why didn't she read the small print?
I read the small print. But documents and words do this muddly thing in my brain and I just though that I had to pay that to cancel.
I'm just an idiot.
Well, I'm not but I feel as though I am.

So here I am, over £1000.00 into my overdraft, no phone, and mental wreck.

Where's all that money go?
For starters, clothes.
I'm an actual shopaholic, 
I'm not just throwing this term around, I genuinely am.
I feel sad? New dress.
Bad day at work? New shoes.
I'm bored? New everything.
Even today I went shopping after finding out how much of a mess I was in.
Its the only thing that seems to calm me down.
The feel of new fabrics and excitement of a new look on me just takes over.
The thought of actually being able to improve my appearance by the clothes I wear just takes over my brain and bank card and I come home feeling horrific.
I. just. cant. help. it.
I've tried. I've been battling with this for years.
& eventually its all caught up with me.

But food, doctors bills, my money just evaporates.
And in all honesty, everyone else I know gets some form of financial support of their parents,
Whether it be food for money, gifts they want or paying rent.
I'm doing this whole thing completely on my own.

Why am I telling you this?
A few reasons.

a) Perhaps if I talk more openly about my problem, i'll feel more pressurized to fix it, because you guys will know if I don't. If I give regular updates perhaps it'll spur me on to do better. The fear of causing disappointment is a powerful thing.

b) Perhaps someone out there can offer me some advice and tips, help me out. Relate to me.

c) I'm sure you beautiful people will help me all the way.

d) If I post regular updates, It'll encourage me to carry on saving, get out of the red and into the green.

e) And if I can just reach one person out there to do the same and begin to wise up and stop spending, we can do this together.

- - - - - 

So here is my plan of action.

1) Use the hell out of eBay.
2) Book an appointment with my banker and see what or how they can help.
3) Work every hour I can possibly scavenge.
5) Take a small amount of cash out each week and leave my card locked away at home.
6) Constantly check my balance to illiterate how much i'm in the dog house to encourage me to get out of it.

SO here it is. 
My first, slightly morbid, Thoughtful Thursday.
And lets really hope this is the start of something new.

Any hints or tips kindly appreciated in the box below!
Or private message me on:

Check out my eBay page HERE.
& Blog sale HERE.
I have to start somewhere right ;)


  1. I've only just found your blog and seen this post. I think everyone goes through a little bit of a financial "fluff" from time to time.

    My best suggestion? Budget! Figure out how much money you have coming in a month and out. Give yourself a budget for your shopping and put it in a different account so you aren't tempted to dip in to the rest. Also budget to put some money into paying back your overdraft each month if you can.

    Last of all, don't worry. Things will work out x

    1. Ooh no, there's lots of positive stuff to ;).

      Do you think so? I really hope so, I hope I get out of it. Its scary!!

      That's what i wanna do !! Just a bit a month will help out!

  2. I know exactly how you feel last year my bank was pretty similar to yours for the whole year and i work two jobs!! totally understand the shopaholic thing whenever i was stressed about uni or work my answer was new clothes or makeup, if my parents had known how bad my overdraft was (or that i had one for that matter) they would have killed me.
    To get out of my overdraft the best thing that helped me was to not carry my card around and just forbid myself from online shopping when i started to clear it i got my bank to make my overdraft smaller so that i was charged if i went over it which was the biggest help (ten pounds a day plus interest!!!) But its so easy to slip into it! I agree that you should open a separate account purely for spending money and the rest can slowly pay off your overdraft, don't worry you will get there! xx

    An Uninventive Name

    1. I work two jobs to!!
      Yeah its so hard, everyones all like "just stop spending" but its just not that easy! even today i had to fight every urge not to go!
      Oh noo!

      That's exactly what I've done, just left my card in the house and so far so go!!

      Thats a massive amount to be charged!! bloody hell !

      I really hope I will , thank you for being so lovely!

  3. I feel your pain. I just got my tax back and paid the overdraft hanging over my head. I have vowed many of times to 'save' which has never gone to plan.

    I have decided that next Monday (my day I start any new project) I will only deal in cash. I will take out my weekly allowance in cash, and when I spend it, it's gone and will try so hard not to use my debit card.

    Would love to hear what you plan on doing - the first step to a goal is accountability. Don't be ashamed of telling people - they will help you keep on track. Tell as many people you feel comfortable telling. Tell the girls at work that you are on a shopping ban, ask them to help you resist temptations.

    1. I bet that is SUCH a relief to pay it off!!!
      Same here, Ilast a few weeks and fall back into the same spending habbits.

      Monday is the perfect day to start new projects!!
      I've done that this week and its actually worked!!

      I've received mixed comments, some say my situation isnt that bad and some look at me in disgust!!

      But that's definitely a good idea, thanks lovely <3

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  5. I can empathise with you. I also have no money, my friends are living rent free with their parents and I cannot do that, I spend money on little things to make myself feel better and it's just escalated so badly to a position I never thought I'd be in. I'm trying to stay positive though, because that's the only way things can get better. Just try and stay positive about it, while facing everything, and you'll get through.

    1. Yes, or my friends have their parents pay there rent for them... like really?
      I really hope your situation will get better soon, a possitive attitude is one of the most important things you can have in this day and age.

      We'll both muddle through somehow <3

  6. I'm still in college so don't have much to worry about yet but I can imagine this being so scary! I hate it when people are so open about their parents paying for everything when you actually have to work hard and worry about it yourself, it's so thoughtless of them.
    Just try and budget and if your readers see any shopping/haul posts in the near future we'll be sure to tell you off ;D good luck!


    1. If your sensible you'll be fine lovely :).

      I know - it really isn't something you should be so proud of! :)
      I like the fact I earn everything myself, but it is difficult.

      Hahaa I think you all need to club together to shout at me ;)

      Thanks for the lovely comment <3

  7. This is a very tough situation, and I'm with you on the fine print thing I never seem to grasp what actually happens if you say break your phone.
    All I can suggest is work work work and if you really do need to start checking your bank balance but can't due to anxiety, try giving your pin number to somebody very trustworthy such as your boyfriend and let him check it for you.

    One of my best friends has anxiety and I know that no matter how many times someone could say something to you, it won't change how you feel about the thing you are anxious about.

    1. It's my own fault but its ridiculous.

      My boyfriend would go absolutely crazy if he knew how much debt I was in, i'm talking four day argument crazy, we're in a bad place at the minute to. :(.

      YES, that's so true, I just can't change it. :(.
      Same with confidence issues, the whole shebang.


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