When I grow up, I want a walk in wardrobe in my house.
"When you grow up?". James said.
I didn't say this when I was only 8, I said this last week.
Cus, I'm just a kid right?
What is that?
What do these two numbers mean I have to be?
Because is that's how it is.
People constantly expect you to be a certain lovely of responsible, and a certain level of foolish because of your age.
But after a week from hell not so long ago, I finally made a quite important discovery.
I'm scared of being an "adult".
And not just a little anxious, I'm actually terrified.
I'm just 19, why am I dealing with bills, rent, work and not having enough money for food.
And then it hit me, because I am an adult now.
I'm really irresponsible, I'm constantly in debt, I hate buying food, housework never gets done...
because I am just so scared of this adult world I've very suddenly found myself in.
My actions now affect everyone else around me and I have decisions to make that shape my whole future.
Those two numbers placed together hold the connotations that I am now a "grown up".
I'm going to make a terrible adult, all adults do is mess things up right?
We look at adults and think what the hell are you doing with your life?
With your terrible job and constant moaning. Why would I want to turn into that? I'm just not ready for this.
Adults preach like they know best, but we never listen.
We need to experience our lives for yourself.
Funny thing is, turns out they are right.
As much as I'm having a mini life crisis over this new discovered "adulthood",
I've decided I need to embrace my youth and try to become the best person, and best adult I can be.
Its time to start accepting I have pretty big responsibilities now. I need to focus on my future and start saving, just like a boring adult,
Can I still make sure I still live at the same time.
I'm pretty emotional writing this post, it is pretty heavy for me.
I don't know how to do this saving thing, this responsible thing.
Here goes nothing?