Monday, 29 April 2013

Rest In Peace, Nan.

I've been staring at this page for ten minutes.
That's a long time when you're just staring...

All I can think, is
"Brush you hair like this and it will be curly Kelly"
Each time I saw my Nan she would complain my hair is to straight and that I don't have enough "Morris" (her maiden name) in her.
She would tell that if I simply brushed my hair backwards it would all go curly (it doesn't). I've been hearing this since I was ten years old, I went through a phase where it annoyed me - my stupid adolescent self who thought everything was so uncool. & yet I would give anything for her to say that now.
I'd try for hours if it meant I could spend some time with her.


I received a phone call at four this morning, but I already knew.
This is the worst part of University. Its all over phone calls.
I really wish I was back in Birmingham for the first time in a very long time.
Sometimes I just know things are going to happen, and before I even got the call I knew.
I had hoped it wasn't, i'd prayed I was just paranoid.
But I heard my Dad's poor strained voice and I broke down with him.

People say when you know something is going to happen; it makes it easier.
But it doesn't. Its worse.
When Cancer hurts somebody, it makes them suffer for so long,
I've never seen anyone look so poorly in my whole 19 years of life.
My only comfort is that my Nan is in peace now.

My Nan and Grandad would scoop me up on a sunny day and take me somewhere magical,
Only - it wasn't magical, it was just a park, sometimes even just a field.
Yet every second spent with them was if I was in Disney Land,
Grandparents have that magic don't they.
They're the best part of my childhood, the beautiful days out, the fix up picnics.
We'd spend hours cooking. She baked the most amazing cakes in the world.

One time, my Nan didn't believe that I could tell the difference between real butter and margarine  (it was still around back then). We spent half an hour sampling bits with my blindfolded. Then she sneakily put marge on both and I could still tell!
To this day she swore I cheated.



Her name was Hazel, She used to say how it's a good job my Grandad's surname wasn't Hall!
You have no idea how many times she made this joke, i laughed every single time.

Words can't explain how I feel.
My heart hurts so much.
It feels like i'm being stabbed over and over.

I know it'll get easier. But it doesn't help for now.

I've never really suffered grief before,
With my anxiety as well I feel destroyed.
I never knew an emotional pain could hurt this bad.

It's her birthday tomorrow.
In half an hour.
I spent four hours in town Thursday picking out a present and card,
I needed it to be so special and she'll never even see it.
I just wish she saw it so bad.
Each time I think of this I break out into fresh tears.
I brought her a handmade keyring in the shape of a heart which was meant to help heal, you know the types? I thought it was thoughtful.
The card said "If Nan's were flowers, I'd pick you", And I would every time.
I spent an hour looking for a card alone. I put in so much effort.
I told her how much I missed her and how I would make a trip home to see her soon.
Just one more day and she would have opened it.

My Grandad opened it and has lay everything out because it's still her birthday tomorrow.
He told me that she would have loved it, I know how much it must hurt him.
I am SO worried about him its unreal, you have no idea how much he loves her.
You can see below how well built he is, his halved in size and ages 20 years since this begun.
Its like a film you can't stop sobbing at.
But this is real.




This is the most recent picture I have of her,
The iller she became she wouldn't let us take any pictures of her.

Blogging is my therapy, I'm sorry if this post upsets you, but I need to get it out.

Its taken me all day to write this and I still feel as though its not good enough to show how much of a beautiful person she was.
Nothing ever would be.
I've rewrite it a thousand times, but I'm running out of time to dedicate this space of the internet to her memory.
She was so proud of me, she said i'm living such an exciting life and she would have loved to live my life.
I hope I continue to make her proud.

My Nan loved to dance and sing, almost as much as she loved beer.
I hope she spends her birthday dancing and singing with all her family she hasn't seen in a while up there in heaven.

My Mum called me telling me how worried she was about how i'd take it,
Because I'm such a sensitive person.
Its crazy that in all this she's thinking of me, which is nice right.
But I really didn't think it would hit me this hard.

I miss her so much.


Sunday, 28 April 2013

Tea & Cake.

NB:
I've been scheduling all my posts at the minute because i'm ridiculously busy.
So i'm super sorry if I don't respond to comments very quickly.
So this is my favourite post I've done yet!
Hope you like it to...



After a long, hard day of University work,
Me & James took a walk; (to Sainsbury's, to buy cake)
& I thought i'd make a little thing of it and bring out my tea set so we can have tea and cake!
Definitely one of my favourite things to do!
I'm pretty impressed James went along with it all.













 || Tea Set: Vintage Shop || Dress: Topshop || Blazer: Apricot @ New Look || Necklace: New Look || Ring: Inherited ||
|| James' Top: Paul Smith || Chain: Ernest Jones ||

I had a Belgium Bun and James had a Victoria sandwich cake, both from the Deli counter in Sainsburies!
I also have a picture of him taking a huge bite out of the cake,
He wouldn't let me post that one though.. Booo!

I really love doing silly little things like this.

Do you ever do anything similar?

- Kelly.

Friday, 26 April 2013

Thoughts || Plymouth

I didn't think it was possible to love a place as much as I love Plymouth.
James was down here a year before I came to University here; whenever I came down then I loved it.

I felt like it was a magical place where even the rain never felt as miserable; or the clouds were ever as grey.
& now, three years after I first found Plymouth I still feel the same.

Its not a holiday feeling, but I can't explain it.
I don't even know what draws me to here, maybe its the infrastructure, the cut shops and cobbled streets, the sea and waves?


Whatever it is it still hasn't faded.
For the first time in a long time I feel like I belong.
I don't want to loose that.

It makes me wonder what's in store after I (hopefully) complete my PGCE year,
James wants to move in back home and save some money for a job, I just want to get a place down here and stay. I can see his point, but I just don't want to move back.

Ultimately it's my dream to move abroad, but I'm not finished with this little town yet.



Each time I travel back to Birmingham I get a stream of comments tellin me bow healthy I look,
How i'm blooming into adulthood, my Nan claims its the sea air.
Can a place change you that much?



James has begun calling Plymouth home now,
I love the fact his beginning to feel like we do have a life together now,
Separate from out families.
Of course they're still a big part of us; but we're starting our own journey together.

Have you ever felt this way about somewhere you live?

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

How I wear || Primark China Print Blouse

I've seen quite a few bloggers wear this gorgeous printed shirt from Primark (Yes, Really)
& It's incredibly over sized for a shirt, but I really like it.
Its priced at £12.00, & there is also a dress and skirt in the same print.

So me and Ally got together to photograph some of the ways I'd style the blouse.
(Check out Ally's book blog here & her lifestyle blog here!)
Can I just say thank you to her lovely photography skills and use of a very decent Camera!

- - -

So first of all,
I think it would make a beautiful evening-meal or do outfit.
Teams with a pair of Black Leather Look leggings or disco pants and add some killer heels.







|| Shoes: Internationale || Shirt:: Primark || Leggings: eBay || Bag: Warehouse ||
 || Watch: Ice || PU Biker: H&M || Ring: Inherited ||
|| Necklace: Claires Accessories || Bracelets: Pandora, Thomas Sabo, Accessorize, & local markets ||

As you can see the shirt is longer at the back, making it perfect to drop over leggings like this.
The single pleat down the back compliments your back and makes it look slimmer.
You could also add your favourite biker for those cold nights out!

- - - 

For me, spring always means silky vintage scarfs.
I don't wear them half as much as I used to, but I still have them all.
So I teamed this up with a little polka dot scarf, the clashing prints make them both stand out more and the blues clash as well so they compliment each other.


|| Shoes: New Look || Shirt:: Primark || Tights: Boots || Scarf: Vintage ||
 || Watch: Ice || Skirt: Topshop|| Necklace: Local Market || 
 || Bracelets: Pandora, Thomas Sabo, Accessorize, & local markets ||


- - -

So since purchasing them, I'm really loving these shorts.
& here's another way to add to the blouse.







|| Shoes:  NewLook || Shirt:: Primark || Watch: Ice || Ring: Inherited || Belt: Miss Selfridge || Shorts: Miss Selfridge ||
|| Necklace: NewLook || Bracelets: Pandora, Thomas Sabo, Accessorize, & local markets ||

I'm really loving this necklace from New Look, its buy one get free on all jewellery to.
Its chunky, and quite spikey, yet the rounded corners and pearl look give it a soft feminine look at the same time.
You can see how I did my nails here.

- - - 


This is my go-to look.
The skater skirt.
Shove a skater skirt on with anything and it'll look great. (In my opinion).
I counted that I have 23 skater skirts. Whoops!





|| Shoes: New Look || Shirt:: Primark || Tights: Boots || Belt: Primark||
 || Watch: Ice || Skirt: Topshop|| Necklace: Local Market || 
 || Bracelets: Pandora, Thomas Sabo, Accessorize, & local markets ||

- - - 

Following from this look, you can simply tie the blouse rather than tucking it in.
This is a great look for spring/summer,







|| Shoes: New Look || Shirt:: Primark || Tights: Boots || Belt: Primark ||
 || Watch: Ice || Skirt: Topshop|| Necklace: Local Market || 
 || Bracelets: Pandora, Thomas Sabo, Accessorize, & local markets ||

 - - -

I added my boyfriend blazer for a more dressed up look!




|| Shoes: New Look || Shirt:: Primark || Tights: Boots || Belt: Primark || Blazer: H&M |||

- - - 

We were also thinking that Oscar (left) & Evie wanted to join in on all the fun to!
Ally's bunnies are much to cute.



Let me know what you think anyway lovelies!

Kelly - ♥



Tuesday, 23 April 2013

L'Oreal Confetti Topcoat.

Okay, 
So I've jumped on the blogging bandwagon, 
& after many weeks of searching (everywhere sold out at once!)
A wonderful lady at boots dug me one out of her new delivery.
& I have to say, I LOVE it.
It drys quick (unlike glitter which takes forever!), it looks great.
& it is just so easy to use!
Little bits stay on your brush for ages, if you keep going over the same nail it goes on forever.
So it'll last me a while!



(messy nails!)


Here I added another coat of blue, which dulled the first layer of confetti,
Which is a lovely affect, and then added a final topcoat of confetti!

 At £4.99 its priced averagely for a drug store brand, its got an advantage tat I can't find any other brand that does something similar!
I think this will be my summer go to!
- Kelly.


Monday, 22 April 2013

Google Friend Connect - BlogLovin.

Sorry for a second post guys,
But it might be worth knowing you can import all your blogs from googlereader,
(as it is shutting down, boo)
onto blogloving by following this link;


Hope this helps!
Means you wont have to miss out on your favourite reads!

Pushy Cats. (Paperchase Haul)

This is another different post to what you're used to so you'll have to let me know.
But we've had a new range in at Paperchase called "Pushy Cats"
& I don't know what it is I love so much about it but I really like it
(Probably the fact I'm a crazy cat lady in the making!)




Two way cat pen, Its ears fold down!




-



Set of Four stack-able lunch boxes!






-

 What do you guys think?
Are you a paper chase buff to?


On another note; does anybody know for certain if GFC will be going with google reader?

Give me some feed back :).

Sunday, 21 April 2013

A Carboot Loot!

Visiting home always indefinitely means a carboot!
As its so early it wasn't all that great but I still managed to get some adorable finds!

One thing I do love about being home is having a garden.
Living in flat 30 seconds from the Sea Front is a dream,
But having your own Garden space is just something I miss!
Our garden is a blend of Autumn and Spring at the minute!





Lots of garden life but some dead things to!

The thing about Carboots is you have to rummage!
This is a good thing, AND a bad thing,
Depends on your mood I guess :)

-

OKAY; so my absolute favourite purchase of today IS this bunny rabbit.
I blogged about a crockery duck I love here & this rabbit matches quite beautifully.









Isn't he just a cutie!!! 
Eep my Sister and I spotted him at the same time and just knew! :P

-

Okay so April wasn't keen on these fella's but they were a pound for all of them!
There not everyone's cup of tea but they're so kitsch, cute and cheeky!




They cost £1 for all of them!
So I guess I just couldn't argue with that!



Okay, So April completely wanted to punch me for buying this but I am full on in love with it.
It's one of those things that make your toilet rolls pretty!




& I know many, many of you will agree with the little sister on this one,
But if everyone was the same, life would be so boring!

-

This bell has the cutest little ring!
I'm going to try it out on James next time i'm ill!
*Ding-a-Ling* "Tea please James!"
(We'll see how this goes)





& of course it's floral to, which is just super cute.
I love floral!


In all honesty, I was only drawn to this because is was 20p and so large.
But not i've purchased it I think its really quite beautiful!




The handle detail makes it so much cuter and the tulips are beautiful.
Its really large to! & really dirty haha!
It will definitely need a good clean! I really think that it'd look super cute with a flower/plant placed inside it!

-

This is my only none vintage purchase of the day,
But its so pretty!





I love the sea and all things nautical,
Not many people know how deep my obsession is.
But if ever i'm having a terrible day i'll walk to the sea and I feel instantly soothed.
My dream house is kitted out like the inside of boat,
White was wooden planks, with blue walls and a red striped rubber ring.
I often have loads of dream that I live in the sea, in a lighthouse or on a house over looking the sea.
They're the best dreams.
Its pretty deep...
I wonder why I love it so much?

-

& to finish...
here is a ridiculously cute Koala Bear that for some reason I just couldn't leave behind!


- Kelly.